1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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