She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
