Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
