Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
