Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize