Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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