Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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