READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
