just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
