the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize