u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
