I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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