Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
