tell your sister to shave her snatch
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
