i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
