Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
