Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
