So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
