Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
