just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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