So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
