I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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