batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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