dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
