yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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