C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
