my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Green mimosas i think yes
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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