Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Randomize
