Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
so much tequila, so little girl.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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