I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize