That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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