Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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