we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize