I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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