Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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