if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
