so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
