How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
