i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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