If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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