Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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