it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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