Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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