im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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