you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
