So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
