it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
