You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
