I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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