She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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