in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
