well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
