she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
