Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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