Whod you bang
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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