I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
