hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
